Thursday, May 12, 2011

Just something to think about

Gentlemen. Let me just go ahead and tell you that no matter how attractive or charming you are or think you are, there is effectively no chance that hitting on your ER nurse will ever turn into anything but a look of disgust. Look, it's not you- well, chances are it's probably you as well- but also the fact that your nurse probably hasn't eaten or peed yet and has been spending the last 5 hours cleaning the long neglected genitals of the combative elderly and assisting the doctor with collecting GI bleed turd specimens. Doesn't exactly get me feeling frisky, anyway.
I'm pretty sure that at the end of my shift, even if someone like, Charlie Hunnam caliber hot came in as a patient after an unfortunate kitten rescuing accident and asked for my number, I'd still probably be weirded out. Just not the place. Anyway.
Point is, if you are not this caliber hot and your complaint is related to the fact that you can't maintain an erection, welll. Your nurse definitely isn't gonna want any of that, so you should probably just put it away. But seriously, patients. Stop being gross.


  1. How about when police bring in prisoners and while said prisoner is handcuffed to the bed says hello to the pretty nurse?

  2. Judging by the number of nurses I know married to police officers, I assume this works differently. Most of the ones in our area who bring in prisoners are totally beaten down by the bullshit and seem like they could care less, though.

  3. they told us in first semester of my baby nurse training, that the hearing is the last to go at the end of life. i'm thinking...that might be true for women, but, for's def the libido!!! dude, you just lost control of your bowels, have a tube in your nose, a foley in your member, and your dropping innuendos while i'm doing neuro checks!! no...not gonna happen. and god help the nurse that that shit works on!!

  4. When I was doing clinical in the ED, one patient told his RN she reminded him of his fourth wife. She just nodded and kept working. Later, she repeated that statement and said the patient must be confused, because he had only been married three times.

    We more worldly folk had to explain it twice before she got that he was hitting on her. From the look on her face, I think she'd have preferred to remain unenlightened.