One of the more frequent ones I see is the report followed by "limited exam due to large body habitus" which is a nice way of saying, "look, I can't see shit in here because this patient is really fat."
The foreign body reports are always awesome, too, because no one ever wants to say "there's a huge dildo in there" they go into the exact specifications of the size of the dildo down to millimeters without actually saying what we're looking at. In contrast, when we got a visit from iron man a couple months back the report's like, "Yup, he swallowed a pencil this time. There's a pencil in there. " I think there was also a note about all the parts of the pencil being accounted for, which is comforting I guess.
I think my very favorite are the reports from the sassy radiologists who are obviously really pissed off about the people that keep coming in with unspecified abdominal pain who keep get negative CT scans. They'll actually say things like "note: this is the 8th CT abdomen since January of this year" or my favorite "Negative exam of abdomen/pelvis. Unchanged since LAST 23 CTs THIS YEAR." Oh yes, this will bust out the caps lock. They don't play in that reading room.
I read them too. It's not just you :)
ReplyDeleteInappropriate FB reports are the best...even better are the explanations from the patients as to how that large vaguely squash shaped object became lodged in their nether regions.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I am most humbled by in the ER is how much we depend on radiologist.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is when they write "Clinical correlation is recommended." Really?? No shit sherlock. Thats like me sending them a history that says radiology interpretation is recommended....again would be no shit.
About Ironman....how I miss him. He has landed back in psych docs county. So we probably wont be seeing him again for awhile. Hopefully psych doc will keep us posted.
ER Doc