Now I completely understand this phenomenon among the elderly or chronically ill, whose fluid balance already kind of blows anyway, especially if their symptoms have been going on a couple of days. But if you're younger than me- No ma'am. I expect you to walk, that is ridiculous.
We actually had a chick come in last night- and by came in, I mean she was dragged in by a dude on either side followed by three other concerned gentlemen. As to minimize the scene in the waiting room and to see what was going on, I went and got a chair and wheeled her back to the triage booth. Yeah. Homegirl had no medical history and had been vomiting x 3 hours. She wouldn't answer any questions directly- I would ask, she would whisper the answer to her entourage, and they would tell me in a grown up voice. None of these guys were her relatives, so she had to sign her own consents before we brought her back. So she whispers to her posse that she was too weak to sign. Girl, please. I couldn't even handle it anymore. I straight up told her, "Ma'am, seriously. You've been vomiting for three hours. There is absolutely no medical reason you cannot pick up a pen and sign your name, and you have to do it before we can treat you legally, so just figure it out please." She sure did make one of the dudes hold her hand and trace write her name. Hoolly balls.
This is not at all atypical of the gastroenteritis presentation. I know it sucks. I never thought I would consider linoleum floor with bathmats a comfy bed, but it's happened. So just compared to my own experience, I seriously have to ask:
1. Why can't anyone walk across the room? No one's asking you to do a 5K in this state.
2. Does moaning and screaming really help? Really?
3. Do IV narcotics really help? I thought they were supposed to make you more nauseated.
4. Do people really ever think eating solid food when they're like this is a good idea? And after you've puked the solid food 6 or so times, why wouldn't you stop trying?
5. The really important one- how do you hold your poo long enough to even drive to the ER? I'm serious. Diapers? Butt plugs? Please advise.