Me, to patient being seen for abdominal pain as she was about to chomp into a double cheeseburger: "Ma'am, you really shouldn't eat until we have the results of your CAT scan back. That's the reason I wouldn't bring you coffee when you asked me for it earlier. I'll let you know as soon as we know something, though."
Patient:"Well, if I can't eat my cheeseburger then I need more pain medicine. I haven't eaten all day. This shit is ridiculous!"