Sunday, January 8, 2012

I'm Sorry, I Don't Have Anyone Here By That Name

Triage desk, 3 AM: 50 something male visitor who smells distinctly of marijuana approaches. Foolishness ensues.
Hood Nurse: Hi there sir, can I help you with something?
Visitor: Yeah. Uh, yeah, I'm here to pick up my girl, she's back in the ER!
Hood Nurse: Okay. Do you already know which room she's in?
Visitor: Naw. Naw. She just said that she was about t'get discharged, and they told her she needed a ride, so here I am, I'm her ride.
Hood Nurse: Oookay. Sure. Well, what's her name?
Visitor: I mean, well, you see, I don't really know her last name, but I mean, like she just called me and she said I need to come pick her up, so I'm here to pick her up-
Hood Nurse: Okay. Well. Um. What's her first name? Can you tell me how old she is approximately and what she might be in here for?
Visitor: Aw, no I don't know why she's here, you see, she just said, come here and pick her up.
Hood Nurse: Well, I can't let you back in the treatment area if you can't tell me the patient's name, sir.
Visitor: Well, see, I just call her boo.
Hood Nurse: Well, we don't have "boo" in our system here, hon, so I can't really let you back there.
Visitor (now on cell phone): BOO! HEY! I'M HERE GIRL! What's yo last name, boo? WHAT? I said, I'm here to pick you up! YOU'RE WHAT? You say you at county? Boo, I'm at Hood Hospital! Well I'm here at Hood Hospital to pick you up? What? You're not here? Man, these bitches be wastin' my time out here with this...(wanders out)


  1. Holy Hell that's some funny stuff. I'm sorry you had to waste your evening with craziness like that.

  2. I love that shit. Same goes when someone is looking for their "homeboy" and they give me their gang name or something. Uh, sorry, we don't have a listing for T-Dogg in our system. And, no, you can't go back there and check out all the rooms until you find him.

  3. That's it! You MUST be making these stories up.

    Actually, I know you aren't making it up because how in the world would you ever imagine that people would behave this way????

    I love your blog!


  4. IT takes all types to make this world go around.....things that just make you go hmmmmm.

  5. We get the same thing in L/D! Yeah "pookie" is having my baby. I don't know her first name or her last name...I just boned her 9montha ago...sigh..I often apologize to the babies as I take them to the nursery.