Shortness of Breath

Yup, patients, you may have heard of this little thing we use in ER called the ABCs. Meaning, we prioritize based on airway first, followed by breathing, then circulation. So, I suppose you have now inferred that an airway issue would, logically, take priority. Good job! Great intuition on your part. Now, we're glad you chose to be seen at Hood Hospital, and we are here to listen and take your "shortness of breath" seriously. Let me, though, clarify a few things about shortness of breath.

-People who are short of breath are incapable of yelling " I can't motherfucking breathe"repeatedly at a volume that patients at the opposite ends of the ER with their doors closed can hear you in triage.

-People who are short of breath don't generally have the energy to punch the glass at the triage window.

-People who are short of breath do not generally attempt to spit in the face of the nurse trying to evaluate them.

-People who are short of breath do not throw themselves on the ground and fake a seizure when they are told by the nurse that they are indeed satting 100% on room air with clear lung sounds.

So, for future reference, you're on the right track, but you definitely need to modify a few things before you go back to a room immediately. True, you did get seen quickly by a doctor today, but only long enough for him to say that you were, in fact, breathing fine, before the police hauled you off to jail, which I doubt was your goal.

On a related note, a quick hypothetical- If a 90 pound crackhead can break the "protective glass" in your triage area with a single punch, is it still fair to call it protective glass? Just something to think about.