"Well," her daughter tells me, "we were sitting there about to leave for the strip club, but then she started feeling bad, so we called the ambulance." I asked if she was serious. "Yeah!" She told me, "I mean, her husband's been sick for a while and he just died last week, we thought it would cheer her up." Shoot, maybe it would have. Who says ladies in their mid 80s aren't into that kind of thing? Can't fault them for trying!
Although, this is coming from someone who went to a bar with my parents and grandma last week, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.