Sunday, July 31, 2011

I Just Had to Know

So, after a couple of years working in the ER I for the most part have learned to stop asking why. Why? Because what does it really matter, most of the time?
Why did you insert that particular object in that particular place? Does the answer make a difference as to how you remove it? Why did you continue to eat sloppy joes after you had been vomiting? Is there a good answer to this question? Why did you choose to get on the roof to get drunk? It doesn't really change the big ass head laceration at this point, so what the hell do I care?
Yup, now I'm like, "Oh, the old flashlight in the butthole, eh? Cool. Well, let's get that taken out for you. Next please."
Until tonight, when we got the drunk driver found in the car by EMS wearing a shirt, but no pants. We're clearing him from the backboard and without even thinking, I just blurted out, "What happened to your pants, bro?" Everyone in the room started laughing hysterically, because they all know, as I do, that it's pointless to ask- they all thought I was just screwing with the dude. But no, I was just really curious what was going on that he was driving around with no pants on. But alas, there was not a good answer.
Oh well.


  1. We hope by asking that perhaps it may dawn on them that there are other options out there - you know, sane ones....or at least - hopefully - a learning experience?....but I really think it's futile.

    We can only try - and dream - that they would learn but don't hold your breath.

  2. Now I'm curious about what happened to his pants...

  3. What makes you think he knows?

    I've seen my brother come home drunk in his boxers, and he had no clue as to where his clothes were, or why he'd removed them. But he did later see his shirt draped over the top of the flagpole at the bank, and someone found his trousers, wallet and mobile phone on the stairs in a building on the other side of town.