At this point he's been waiting approximately 45 seconds from the time I've pushed him in from the car, and I tell him to fill out the check in form. Not that I've automatically blown him off because of his complaint and presentation, but A, it's been going on for three days, and B, until people microchip themselves like my dog and I have the technology to scan them into the computer system instantly, I still need you to fill out the damn form telling me who the hell you are! It takes one minute if you are a literate adult, just sayin'. So, this was unsatisfactory to him, so he decides to add that yesterday his child hit him in the back of the head with a plastic toy "in the exact same spot where I had a concussion a few months ago" and that his doctor told him that if he ever got hit there again he could die instantly. Yikes.
So we get him into the computer system and I tell him he'll be triaged shortly. He then stands up out of the wheelchair, walks to the vending machine, buys a soda and some cookies and he and his wife walk to the other side of the waiting room and sit down, where she then pulls a McDonalds bag out of her purse and they proceed to eat them some tasty cheeseburgers.
Unresponsive? Was that prior to ordering the double quarter pounder with cheese? I can see the med alert bracelet now- If found unresponsive, please bring to the closest fast food drive thru. Surprisingly, his EKG was normal.