Chief Complaint of the Night

To increase customer satisfaction around here, my end goal in all cases in every area of my life, and to inject a little joy into the frequency in which I keep getting stuck in triage, I'm gonna start a little feature here called chief complaint of the night whenever I work out there. Today's first ever chief complaint of the night (as I charted it for maximum impact):

0230: Hernia x 2 years

Pt denies pain, but states "I might as well have you guys fix this

now. I want it out. I'll also take one of them AIDs tests."

+ETOH

He was obviously a winner. He threw a fit about thirty minutes after I had put him out in the waiting room insisting that he had been in excruciating pain the whole time, and scolded me for talking too fast. When he did go back to a room, he immediately fell asleep, and when the doctor went in to ask what she could do to help him, he responded with, "ask your mama."

He was of course, promptly discharged to the waiting room, where he tried to talk to the police officer at triage about his Snoop Dogg CD and demanded a cab voucher.

Yup. Saving lives as usual.