Headache and nausea s/p drinking too much last night.
Pain after eyebrow piercing today.
Vaginal irritation after rough sex.
I mean, really? I look forward to the day I become an NP because I will write discharge instructions that simply say LEAVE NOW. Depending on my mood they may also encourage a vasectomy or tubal.
I tried to keep track of how many people I was triaging with self-induced afflictions. It amazes me why they even bother to come in....don't you think they would be too embarrassed to come in and stay at home? No - those types apparently have no embarrassment threshold...
ReplyDeleteThe first time I ever had a patient with the post "rough sex" pain as their chief complaint, I had to quickly master the art of disguising a surreptitious laugh as a sudden coughing fit.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Just wait until you get the infected genital peircing complaint.
ReplyDeleteDischarge instructions: Remove peircing. Wash affected area. Do not breed.