Thursday, March 3, 2011

Well, yeah

Seriously all people I treated today alone:
Headache and nausea s/p drinking too much last night.

Pain after eyebrow piercing today.

Vaginal irritation after rough sex.

I mean, really? I look forward to the day I become an NP because I will write discharge instructions that simply say LEAVE NOW. Depending on my mood they may also encourage a vasectomy or tubal.


  1. I tried to keep track of how many people I was triaging with self-induced afflictions. It amazes me why they even bother to come in....don't you think they would be too embarrassed to come in and stay at home? No - those types apparently have no embarrassment threshold...

  2. The first time I ever had a patient with the post "rough sex" pain as their chief complaint, I had to quickly master the art of disguising a surreptitious laugh as a sudden coughing fit.

  3. Hahaha. Just wait until you get the infected genital peircing complaint.
    Discharge instructions: Remove peircing. Wash affected area. Do not breed.