Thursday, December 23, 2010

Don't they know it's Christmas aatt alll.....

In my inbox this morning:

Hood Hospital weekly huddle up gather round circle jerk!

Hey nurses! Great job on being totally awesome and getting us stroke certified! So, you know how you guys did that education and only got payed for half of it because you're our bitches and we threatened and intimidated you? Well, not only did you do that, but you also voluntarily remembered some information and were able to recite it to some people with money, so great job! Way to go! Pat yourselves on the back!

Oh. B-T- Dubs, even though we'll be getting like, lots more money because of that stroke certification you worked so hard to get, we're eliminating all bonus and cutting down strictly on overtime during the busiest time of year. Yeah, we figured since you aren't getting a Christmas bonus we might as well get you something, and that something is a figurative ass raping with no lube. We'll be thinking of you and your atrociously understaffed coworkers in this most special of seasons, while we watch our eight year olds open the Ipads we bought with the money we saved on your overtime pay. Yes, we truly hold you dear in our hearts when we attempt to fill the void where our souls once were with 20 dollar mimosas. We think about the verbal and physical assault you will most surely endure when the inevitable 6 hour average wait times return to your ED because you don't have enough nurses available to take care of the patients. We sincerely mean it when we say we couldn't stick it to you so hard if you didn't take it. Thanks for all that you do.
Happy Holidays!
Sincerely, Hood Hospital upper management

Holy crap guys. 2 glasses of wine hasn't killed the rage yet. Should I go for 3?


  1. Why stop at just the 3rd class, go for the whole bottle!

  2. Bottle? I"m classy, I drink wine out of the box. Okay, whole box it is.

  3. Go for broke! Drink the box! Drink the case!

    Well...figuratively...of course...

  4. Aaaa. Gotta love management.
    I'm totally kidding. They can all go choke on a dick and die.

    But yeah, babe, finish the box. Go big or go home.

  5. on a much brighter note, i am watching 28 days later right now. hey, did you know cillian murphy is in it?

  6. Yeah buddy! Sans pants! Merry Christmas to all.

  7. um, about that......if you happen to be a wuss that a) doesn't like scary movies (me) and b) often gets scary dreams from an overimaginative imagination (me)..... you probably shouldn't watch '28 days' right before you go to sleep. no matter how many Cillian-sans-pants shots there might be. sheesh, what an idiot. great movie though. was 28 weeks later as good? (i bought the two-pack).

  8. I didn't see 28 weeks later since I heard there weren't any shots of Cillian Murphy without pants. But I heard it was good.

  9. just saw tron. cillian murphy's in it for like, 5 minutes. was excited for you, thought he'd have a bigger role, but alas, that was it.

  10. Dude, I saw it and didn't even recognize him, but I'd also been drinking a couple of margaritas before that and they made me really tired. I'll have to watch it again for multiple reasons.