You are so dumb, for real

The bedroom intruder app has taken the hood hospital's night shift by storm. For anyone not familiar, it's a collection of sound clips from a rather popular viral video that you can see here.

Let me just tell you that this weekend, we got extra use out of one particular part with all the foolish, foolish things we saw.

As usual, there is the always reliable material from triage. I think my favorite complaint had to have been the guy who checked in because he's been walking a lot and he had two blisters on his foot. You came to the ER for that? Seriously? You are really, really dumb.

And how about one of my fellow employees from a department that is not mine and will not be named, who during a stroke forum, asked if we were going to give TPA for hemmorhagic strokes. Wha wah. I won't even say it.

The winner this week by far has been the surrounding nursing homes, though. Long term critical care hospital sent over a guy being treated long term for sepsis with low O2 sats- amazingly enough, they called and gave us report, telling us he had been febrile and couldn't maintain his sats even on 100% oxygen on a non-rebreather mask. Since we start oxygen at 2 liters through a cannula and work up to a non-rebreather, which requires around 15 liters to work properly, we figured this guy was gonna be in pretty bad shape. To our surprise, he came to us okay looking with normal vitals. The medics that brought him in told us that they apparently walked in to pick him up and found him lying flat, wearing a non rebreather mask with O2 going at 5 liters a minute. Well. I think you found your problem, which is, you're dumb.
This wasn't even close to the worst- we also got an EMS transfer at 11PM on a weekend for- I can't believe I'm saying this- mold in the PEG tube. Yup. Apparently mold grows very quickly, like over a matter of hours, and is very dangerous once it appears in the PEG tube that you no longer use and clearly, no longer flush. Definitely a situation where an ambulance needs to be called.
The best still, I believe, was the poor little lady they sent over for, as they put it on the transfer sheet "excessive bleeding to the Virginia". And while I would be concerned if my patient's virginia was bleeding also, the situation apparently resulted when for whatever reason, they were trying to catheterize this little lady (and I'm willing to bet, were doing it wrong) and noticed some blood after several attempts. They called the medics, who brought her to us- the doctor did an exam to find everything in order and perfectly normal, other than a tiny spot of blood in the diaper. Yup, I had to call them back on that one. Nursing home, you are really dumb, for real. Stop sending us stupid transfers. We gonna find you.