Let me tell you how to do it right

I mean, seriously. If you're gonna fake a syncopal episode in the waiting room and commit to lying on the nasty ass hospital floor, you probably shouldn't reach into your pocket with your eyes still closed and pull out your wallet when the nurse asks for your ID so she can check you in. Nurses are trained in these things and we know you cannot respond to verbal commands while passed out, so you are not going to trick us. Instead, we will just tell you very quietly that you better stand up right now before we get the ammonia poppers. Please practice at home and try again the next time you come, which I'm sure you will, thanks.