So ER Doc went around asking everyone about the odds of contracting such an infection from spiders vs. sticking your bare ass on a pole covered in multi drug resistant clamydia or super AIDs or whatever. So, being creative I decided maybe it was both. "Well. Maybe the spiders were on the pole. Maybe it was a downtown pole spider. You don't know about pole spiders? Did you even graduate medical school? Shit."
Don't laugh, ya''ll. Pole spiders are serious business.