Saturday, May 12, 2012

Flippin' the Script

Ghetto mama presents to various nurses' stations in different zones of the ER to yell and swear about how long it's taking to get her kids x-rays back for an injury he sustained nearly a week ago.  After the third person she berates about how she's in and out in 2 hours for the same sort of thing at hospital X all the time (feel free to leave and go there any time, baby doll, we all know you aren't gonna pay this bill anyway), she is politely asked to please go back to the room where her kid is and she adamantly refuses to do so until someone explains to her why no one has applied a dressing to her child's contusion with no break in the skin.
Douche SWAT team is activated and emesis bag nurses is deployed from his zone to herd mom into a room and bring the situation down a notch.  Conversation that brought the situation from 10 to 0 in approximately 30 seconds?
Mom-"I can't believe it took us 2 hours to get seen and now it's takin' an hour for this x-ray? What the fuck are y'all doin', this hospital is stupid, and y'all are stupid! Imma report y'all! How come this is takin' SO LONG?"
Emesis bag nurse-"I don't know, why did it take YOU so long to bring your kid in? He fell off his bike 5 days ago and you're just now getting around to take him to see someone? What have you been doing? 5 days kind of sounds like neglect, maybe I should be reporting YOU, ma'am!"
After this, the level of satisfaction with the care provided changed significantly.

13 comments:

  1. Super awesome comeback!!! Wish we could figure out exactly the best way to tame down the "visitors" and their sundry of attitudes and complaints on L&D. Had a mother of a 20-something girl raising a loud ruckus all the way down the hall about how "the epidural done gonna make her (daughter) paralyzed! Stupid hospital people don't know NOTHIN'!" Yes ma'am, it's our first day here - each and every one of us. Bye bye, don't let the door hit your ass on your way out!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOOOOOOOOVe the idea of suggesting neglect. Might not go over in an office setting, but is great for your scenario.
    LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  3. um, is emesis bag nurse married? would he like to marry me?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love it. I can't even count the times I've wanted to say something like that but figured I'd never get away with it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Emesis bag nurse deserves a good citizen award from the governor. Seriously. He is a hero.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Again I proclaim my love for EB nurse!!! He is awesome!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love. This.

    I'm starting to think that moments of severe honesty like this do actually go unpunished more than you think. I guess people don't expect it.

    Dude brought his kid in for a wart, then proceeded to be mystified by the idea that we don't have that freezing stuff. I said, "Well... it's not an emergency." No repercussions for that comment, just stunned silence.

    Keep it up!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I fucking love you.... You say speak the truth. Nursing is full shit and bullshit, but nurses are a special breed. We are all caring individuals and if we have to put up with 10 drug seeking pt's to help that one pt, who we feel we made a difference with, that at the end of the day is all that matters.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Reminds me of the frequent-flyer drug/alcohol abusers. Get brought to ER because they were wandering the street cryin' and carryin' on about wanting to kill themselves. Gets admitted to Very Small Rural Hospital on a 72 hour psych hold; which means VSRH has to put patient in the ICU for continuous observation. Very Small Town's county psych department doesn't see patients any more on nights or weekends, so the patient gets a free stay till Monday! By Saturday mid-morning the nursing staff is ready to KILL the patient because they're now whinin' and complainin' that they don't really want to kill themselves, they want to go home to be with their momma and baby.How can we keep them here; there's nothing wrong with me, yada, yada, yada....ICU super nurse gets to tell them that if they leave AMA, the police will visit to take them directly to jail; do not pass go! Finally, Monday comes and Very Small Town county psych rep comes in to see the patient and determines: "The patient agrees not to harm themselves, and so can go home: which translated means "our psych unit and/or drug treatment center doesn't have beds anyway, so we'll just let this lovely person go and do this all again next weekend!" And, round and round we go, when we'll stop....NEVER!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG. If we had to keep the psych pts down here for three days I might actually become suicidal as well. The suicidal no not suicidal now I'm suicidal again game drives me crazy enough just while we're waiting for the psych social worker to come out. And they ALWAYS come in on the weekends too. Wowww.

      Delete
    2. Living in a small town can be great, but at other times you really wish we had more resources that are available in cities. Although, maybe I shouldn't say that because I'm sure city resources are in high demand with very low availability as well. How long till I retire? Then I can forget I know anything about this stuff, and just vote no for funding drug/psych units like everyone else! (cynical much? sheesh) Thanks again for your blog. Love it and your Twitter posts!

      Delete
  10. I'm really appreciating your honesty, I relate to so many of the experiences that you're writing about, you're doing a service by having this blog. My only issue is when you use the term "ghetto mama" what kinds of inferences are you expecting us to make based on the term? Or when you berate one of the parents for not being able to spell, what do you want us to assume from the fact that she can't spell? Sometimes you have typos in your blog, or paragraphs that weren't proof read, but I don't make assumptions based on that, do you know what I mean? Again, I love reading your blog because it helps me feel like I'm not alone in the all the complex emotions I have around being a nurse. Then there's ways that you right that seem to be inadvertently racist or classist that make me really uncomfortable. Your content is so on point and valid without using terms like "ghetto mama" or falling back on stereotypes and generalizations about people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I imagine a lot of stuff can probably get lost in reading versus talking, and that the term I used here might sound kind of like something that would come out of Rush Limbaugh's mouth if you don't know me, how I talk, etc. I use the word ghetto to describe being generally ridiculous and combative in your dealings with other people- something that really transcends class and race and it's the same way my patients use it (they're going to make me have to get all ghetto in here!) I said mama in that the lady was the mother of the child in question. I'm not really expecting anyone to make any further inferences, but maybe that's a problem with me, I really don't know. I don't mean anymore by it.
      As for the other post, I addressed that at the time after another person accused me of hating poor people and expressed pretty much the same sentiment. Sometimes I look at shit and it makes me laugh, and I don't think about why or whether it's right or wrong. I've also seen Talladega Nights, like, 50 times. Obviously when you really think about it, it's a bummer to laugh at- sorry if anyone found it offensive, but please understand that if I always thought about the factors behind all the things I see and laugh at here, I would probably be horribly depressed and I would have probably quit my job a long time ago. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable or if it's a selfish attitude to take, but it's the way things happen sometimes. I hope it's clear by other content that I do reflect on what I do and how I do it on a pretty regular basis.
      I appreciate feedback and being challenged to think about the way I do things, but saying I'm "berating" someone for not being able to spell is a little much. There's obviously a couple of inferences being made here that I'm not really sure how to respond to.

      Delete