Friday, April 27, 2012

Chief Complaint of the Night

Which also necessitated an ambulance-
Itching rectum x 2 hours.
Yes, ambulances really do bring people to the ER for this.

13 comments:

  1. Did you suggest an 80 pack of baby wipes from Wal*Mart and while they're there, to pick up a clue? ;)

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  2. Had to have been a man.... right?

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  3. Sadly by the law, we're required to take anyone who wants to go to the ER for any reason no matter how stupid it is. Yay for EMTALA. On refusals we're required to read spiel that states they could die from that 1 cm papercut they called us out to put a bandaid on so we don't discourage frivolous calls from being transported. One medic refused to read it for said case of papercut and was later bumped down to EMT-Basic protocols only for 3 months on EMT-Basic pay by the medical director.

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    1. Ugh. I'd be willing to bet that medical director doesn't give the 'you may die' speech when papercut patients present to the ED. What a douche canoe.

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    2. Of course not, he's an almighty physician with the power to diagnose. I'm too ignorant to know the prognosis of a tiny laceration and can't tell them they won't die. I'm not arguing that we should broaden our range of refusals though, just allow them without all the hoop jumping for the outright ridiculous stuff. Had too many medics miss obvious stuff because they jump at the chance to avoid a transport.

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    3. Yeah, I mean in the sense that this actually fucking happens. I don't know how you guys do it. If I was working a 24 and someone woke me up to be transported to the ER for tonsillitis or some bullshit, I would have a really hard time not being an outright dick to them.

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  4. Why are you not allowed to ridicule, torment, and/or torture someone that comes in like that? In a just world you'd be able to smack them upside the head and GOMER.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Here, if someone calls 911 for an ambulance, 911 sorts out whether it's *actually* ambulance worthy, then if not, is passed on to a RN call center for a full phone triage. If not deemed emergent, the caller is advised to drive themselves in, see their own MD or home treatment as per triage protocol - depending on what the sx are. The person with the itching rectum wouldn't have had an ambulance sent out.

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  7. Not sure where you live Cartoon characters, but sadly it won't be done here in TX. So much misinformation comes over the phone that the city would be scared shitless of mistriaging a high acuity call as a low acuity one for liability reasons. They have no issues with doing the opposite though! Also, what happens in your area when the pt states they want an ambulance anyhow? Pretty sure it'd be an EMTALA violation if they said no.

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  8. Sometimes I fart extra hard and my butt gets itchy. Can't say I'd ever deem that an emergent complaint. Good lord.

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  9. Wow that's pretty crazy and kind of absurdly funny!

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  10. The lamest ambulance I have had come in was a woman with a skin rash x 3 days which she stated was from her boyfriends cologne. On a crazy day in our ED, our charge nurse triages incoming ambulances so things like papercuts, butt-itchers, and skin rashes are sent to the waiting room to get in line and wait for an available room appropriate to their acuity level. You should see how pissed some of them get when they find out the ambulance wasn't a ticket straight to a room.

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