Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Chief Complaint of the Night

Typical balls to the wall Monday night triage at hood hospital with an average wait time of 7 hours:
Crayzee* Pt: Yeah, I'm really tired of coming up here for this same thing. I have all these parasites coming out of my mouth, and my nose, and my ears, and y'all keep giving me all these antibiotics and stuff and it's not helping. I need something that will kill it, not just slow it down!
Hood Nurse: Um, yeah, okay ma'am. So, how long has this been bothering you? Are you hurting anywhere?
Crayzee Pt: Yes it hurts! They're falling out of my nose right now! This is been going on for three years and you guys won't help me! Last time they sent me to an ear nose and throat doctor, and he told me it was boogers! That's bullshit! Fucking quack!
She then proceeds to pull out some weird looking petri dish like container full of boogers suspended in water.
Hood Nurse:Uh, okay ma'am. Go ahead and have a seat in the waiting room for me, they'll call whenever they're ready for you.
*TM Nurse K


  1. Every cell in my body just gagged repeatedly.

  2. Wonder what the over/under is on how many medical forums this person posts on daily? I'm going 5-6.

  3. Hahahahaha I am literally dying... We've all heard the story "I have worms coming out of _____ body part" but the floating boogers took the cake! Awesome!