Saturday, July 10, 2010

A little warning would be nice....

Listen. I know it's hard to plan for cases where you end up with a patient who had to be picked up and taken to the hospital by the city light rail police because he thought it would be a good idea to take a couple of sleeping pills before getting on the train- I mean, who hasn't done that, I do it all the time-but I wish some people had to carry a little more information about their conditions.

Let me be more specific. I wish people who have spent 20 years combined at the state mental hospital for repeatedly masturbating in public were required to carry a little card or something with a note to the effect of "Hi, my name is Mr. Creeper Jones, and my number one favorite hobby is whipping my junk out and jerking off in front of strangers. You, as the healthcare professional taking care of me, might be interested in this information. Nice to meet you."

That way, we might be slightly more mentally prepared for walking into the room and finding you with a sterile glove on one hand watching the Disney channel with your pants off. I'm just sayin'.


  1. This is too good. I have seen this happen before. Nursing school doesn't prepare you for what you have to witness in the hospital. I love your blog. Check is daily for new posts. Reading it makes me glad I don't work in the hospital any longer.

  2. "Holy shit" was the only coherent thought I could put together after reading this...I'm so sorry for you. I really am.

  3. LMAO!!

    I had a Down syndrome patient a few months back who refused to wear her gown. I came into the room to put a foley in and she herself in the bed.

    I told her I'd be back later...