Monday, July 5, 2010

I can't make this shit up.

When I was graduating school and reading med blogs, I always assumed that a bunch of shit was fictional. Or that when I started, I could never write my own successfully because I wouldn't have enough material. I was dead wrong, but sometimes I wish I wasn't.
Like tonight. When I got stuck up in triage on the 3rd drunkest day of the year, and my first patient at 715 was already tanked. Like, couldn't even stand up straight. Yeah, she checked in because her toe hurt. Her toe hurt because two days before, she was sliding down the stripper pole and work and her acrylic toenail came off and now it was "oozing infection". She was so wasted and/or stupid that she was talking about what they needed to do to start her IV. I wish I was really that creative and I could make up stories like this one. But no, it's true, this person actually exists and probably has children. God help us all.

5 comments:

  1. Yes, and I would see these same people actually come in and deliver....and then take those poor babies home..... :( I KNOW u aren't making this stuff up.....

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  2. In today's society...I've come to realize nothing surprises me anymore! I can only imagine what you have to deal with on a day to day basis, so thanks for sharing your experiences. It gives me a realization of what I'll soon be dealing with!

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  3. My favorite was a guy who came into the ER c/o abd pain and wanting to lose weight. They couldn't find anything on a (not very thorough) exam so they called me for a psych consult. The guy says he's desperate to lose 20 lbs b/c if he doesn't he will die from "Barret's Stomach." He eventually confessed to shooting himself in the leg so that it would become gangrenous and need to be amputated. This would allow him to get a good start on losing those 20 lbs. I told the ER doc to check out the gsw to the leg and called the county social worker to admit him. Like you said, I could NOT make this shit up!

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  4. yea i was told that i wouldn't have to triage until i have been there a year...course there are alot of people that tell me yea right...you get bored check out my list of how not to kill yourself Er tales...lol

    http://livingdeadnursepsychoward.blogspot.com/2010/07/tale-of-er-nurse-how-not-to-kill.html

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  5. People get acrylic toenails? Ha! That's just funny to me! Guess I learn something new everyday!

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