I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but the black cloud has followed me from Hood Hospital to new hospital in a big way, to the point that everyone here just makes fun of me now because everyone I touch ends up in the ICU. The charge nurse tried to do me a solid today by sending me a toe pain via EMS to my hall bed...except the dude also happened to be in A fib with RVR. Oh, and he had bilateral giant ass DVTs to both legs and no one could find pulses in his feet.
Oh, and yesterday my girl who came in for "abdominal cramping" sure did deliver a 19 week stillborn in her MF-ing panties 10 minutes after I walked into the room while I was starting an IV on her. YUP.
So, yeah, I guess this is my life now, every day is a shit show, all day. So I'm busting my ass, it's my last shift in a long stretch of crazy fuckery, and I'm taking care of a super cranky frequent flyer who is chronically ill but wants to complain and cuss at you about any interventions you might attempt to make him LESS chronically ill. I see his call light on and run into his room to ask what he needs, when he tears into me about how long he's been waiting for me to bring him some juice and why I can't make jello magically appear in the ER at 11PM so he can eat some. I apologize and tell him I have several other patients who all need my help, that I'll get to his juice as soon as I possibly can. This is the conversation that seriously transpires.
Pt:"I can't even believe this place. The service here sucks so much. You guys are seriously terrible."
Me (trying to hold back tears, because I am so pissed/frustrated at this point): "I'm sorry. I'm really doing the best that I can, I wish I could get everyone what they want right when they want it but there's only one of me."
Pt:"Well, I know you can't do anything about it but your service still sucks. You don't suck as bad as Hood Hospital, but you're not that much better. You're pretty close actually. You guys are terrible, but they're still worse than you."
Well, yeah. Even though he was kind of a dick about it, he was also kind of right- this place does suck, but not as much as Hood Hospital. But- hooray for sucking less! Upgrade!
If he doesn't like the "service", GTFO! Here's an AMA form, please sign here, thanks, buh-bye!
ReplyDeleteI keep wondering exactly when it was that hospitals transitioned into the hospitality service sector? We get that crap in the ICU and I just want to point out how we're here to save your life, not put mints on your pillow.
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. Wait, did you go check outside to see if the hospital sign had been replaced with a bed and breakfast? "Allow me to offer you the dinner menu, sir. Tonight's special is pâté of what the fuck is wrong with you; it's very popular."
ReplyDeletewhat a nightmare.
ReplyDeletei just don't know about ...people...
Your fucking *SERVICE* sucks? How well does that SOB tip?
ReplyDeleteWow. Don't let 'em see you cry! just remember we still think you are a hero!
ReplyDeleteThis is why I generally stay away from the public except when working. Most folks don't quite understand just how awful/stupid/loud/obnoxious/me-me-me folks are, but talk to an ER rn, cop, trooper, folks that constantly deal with these whiney ass muthers, and you'll see a knowing glint in their eye. And, you might hear a story or two.
ReplyDeleteAs an ER rn, I'm not here to bring you coffee, a coke or crackers. Please quit expecting it. If you're lucky, you'll get a warm blanket and a pillow while i titrate that ntg or levo drip in the next room.
Love! the quote above of the tonight's special. I'm gonna remember that one.
Thanks Hood Nurse and the rest of you. You make my day.
Could I get my pillow fluffed, a diet coke and some diladid please.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog . I have been reading for the past 2 years. I'd swear you work in my ER. The pt are asking for socks, a lunch box and where is the remote before they can sit down on the stretcher .
ReplyDeleteYou know you are doing the best you can. Sometimes that's all we can hang our hat on to continue working.
ReplyDelete(Also, did you mean arterial emboli to the legs and not DVTs in the beginning of the post?)
YUP. Both, actually. FML.
Deletei have seen a lot of things, but the day that my patient births ANYTHING is the day that i quit. seriously. i cannot even imagine doing what you do.
ReplyDeleteDo I even want to know what a 19 week old stillborn looks like? That shit would scar me for life. Worse than 2 girls one cup?
ReplyDeleteBasically just like a teeny tiny baby. It's less gross and disturbing and more just really really sad.
DeleteSometimes those mofos just need a dose of reality. I try to be super nice most of the time, but every once in awhile I'll just drop some truth on them..."Listen, sorry you want some Coke, we don't have any. We're not that fancy. I'll get you juice as soon as I can, but right now I'm trying to save the life of the person in the next room and that is more important than your juice. This is an emergency room, not a restaurant. You're gonna have to wait. Deal with it!".
ReplyDeleteIt usually doesn't shut them up, but it still makes me feel a little bit better.