Thursday, January 3, 2013


I'm dealing with the same generalized abdominal pain with no distress in an otherwise healthy 20-something gal (aka disposition 99% of the time= you probably need to fart) but, okay, sure, maybe you really have ruptured appendicitis with peritonitis and that's why you're talking on your cell phone and you keep asking for a sandwich tray.  Anyway.
I send this girl off for a urine sample, come back and pop an IV in her real quick, draw labs and label them, and I go to look for her urine.  Um, hey lady, where is your urine?
"Oh, yeah, mmmhmm," she says, pausing her conversation on her bedazzled iPhone while DIGGING INTO HER PURSE AND PULLING OUT HER SAMPLE CUP that was also overflowing with urine BY THE WAY.   What the hell? And it wasn't even like a crap canvas bag from target or some shit like I carry around, no, this was like, a coach bag that was probably equal to 2-3 payments on my car. "Self pay" patients usually carry bags like this to the ER because they are all independently wealthy entrepreneurs that don't NEED health insurance.  Or something.  But anyway, gross.  
Girl, I sure hope you throw away all of the makeup that was touching that cup because when you come back in here next week for some eye infection secondary to what you just did to all your shadows and liners down there, I absolutely want no part of it. What a waste. She probably had nice makeup, too. 


  1. Ewh! That's all I have to say!

  2. Do you think she took the cup OUT of her bag to pee in it? I'm guessing she just took a whiz in her purse and tried to get as much as she could in the specimen container. Ha!

  3. I'm guessing that she brought someone else's urine and put it in her bag -- really put it in her bag. She comes to her E.R. visits prepared.

    1. I would agree with you Webster. Maybe she doesn't care what she gets urine on as long as the urine she took from someone was "cleaner" than hers.

  4. i don't want to think what she'd have done had a stool sample been needed.

  5. What in the ever loving hell would make someone put their urine sample IN THEIR PURSE????

  6. Un-farking-believable what these crazy bitches will do...

  7. Oh those nasty urine sample cups... I always tell myself they are all wet because people actually washed their hands afterwards and didn't bother to dry them but yeah... who am I kidding? And no, you can't just put that thing down in the middle of my desk. Thanks.