For example, by all means, come to my hospital and request IV pain medicine. Please. I will put in the chart exactly how you requested pain medicine in your IV today. I will chart how many times you called me while you were waiting to be evaluated and every obscenity you used. I will also chart how much Fanta and Cheetos you were eating at that time, and how many times I encouraged you to stop eating with your 10/10 abdominal pain. Finally, when you call me a "skanky white bitch" and tell me "I'll kick your little ass in the parking lot"because the doctor didn't order you that D medicine you got last time, well. One, that shit is now in your permanent medical record, boo. Have fun reporting the hospital like you keep threatening to do. I hope you do report us, and I hope they pull your chart and see how violent and psychotic you really are. Two, hi, I believe that was a threat to the staff? Yeah, meet the police. They will be escorting your ass off the hospital grounds now, bye. Funny how the folks that get brought back to the room via wheelchair are suddenly able to walk independently with a brisk and steady gait once going to jail is part of the picture.
As an added bonus, quotations are just fun for everyone and are the next best thing to a dramatic reenactment you can get. Use as often as possible for the entertainment of your coworkers. Thus concludes my inservice on charting. Reading this will give you approximately 30 seconds of CE credit.