So, I was talking to one of the NPs that I really like a couple weeks ago, and she was telling me a story about how she had to remove a makeup sponge from some lady's vagina that night. Of course, I always need to know the how and why, so she got back to me and it turned out the lady was on her period and had run out of pads and tampons. Next logical conclusion- shove a makeup sponge up there! It's absorbent, right? Right.
Fast forward to two weeks after that. Same NP. Same complaint. Yeah, I ran out of tampons so I stuck this makeup sponge up there because someone told me that would work. Why not? This time, though, there was a twist. Not only did she successfully recover the makeup sponge, but as an added bonus there was also a condom floating around in there. So she pulls it out and says to the girl, "Is there anything else up there you need me to get out for you?" Priceless. Apparently she was not as amused as I was.
I have never heard about this until this month. Anyone else heard any tales of makeup sponges being suitable feminine hygiene product replacements? I will do some research on Google and get back to you guys.
UPDATE- I've found one source that mentions makeup sponges being used for tampon substitutes in an article written by an escort addressing the problem of how to work on your period, because apparently all escorts know thats always the week when you fill up on appointments. OMGz, hate it when that happens. Anyway, even there it was only mentioned in passing about how it sort of works the same way as a real sponge designed for that sort of thing. Now, before you say, "Hood nurse, you lazy crackhoe, you probably just stopped after one google search", you would be wrong. Because I scoured Yahoo! answers for a good 20 minutes for various tampon replacements, and came up empty on the makeup sponge front. And anyone who has ever read Yahoo! answers knows that is the population most likely to stick use a makeup sponge or equally ridiculous item as a tampon. Seriously. Just read Yahoo! answers topics about STDS and pregnancy. You'll give up on humanity in 10 minutes.
Well, maybe not as suitable as all that, seeing as how they get lost up there.
ReplyDeleteMenstrual sponges, though, are old news, and if kept scrupulously clean they are an environmentaly sound choice.
Holy toxic shock syndrome Batman!
ReplyDeleteUmm I had a pt the other day ask me if I could help her remove the THREE tampons in her twat that have been there for THREE days. After I assisted [gagged] she proceeded to laugh and yell "Yea boii!" Like flavor flave status. I've been meaning to create a story about the whole thing but I haven't had time. Where do these people come from?
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteYikes. That is about the last thing that would come to mind if I were to run out of tampons. What's wrong with wearing a pad while making a trip to buy more tampons?!? Or is that too common sense...?
ReplyDelete@Jlaw- OMG!Don't you wish it was lawful to film our patients sometimes so that when people are like, "no, you're making that up" you could pull out the evidence. Truly stranger than fiction.
ReplyDelete@Kendra- Supposedly, she had run out of both, although my nurse friend taking care of her made sure to educate her about putting some TP in your panties. Yikes.
I first encountered this when I was going to Anarchist Lesbian Summer Camp (aka a liberal arts college) in Ohio. If you google "sea sponges" instead of "makeup sponges" I bet you'll get like a zillion hits. ;*)
ReplyDeleteThey use makeup sponges in the porn industy.
ReplyDeleteI've one stuck inside of me RIGHT NOW... (yes I am serious.) I'm lol... but I'm serious. I cannot get the damn thing out. what to do?! I am NOT going to the doc... Noway- Rather have my bf try and dig it out 2maro. What can I do tho, Seriously?!
ReplyDeleteWhat happened!? I'm in the sae place... can't find it. Bf leaves for Afghanistan in now wanted to send him off with a nonmnsrral bang... freaking out a litte...
DeleteI have used them a lot .. I learned from the porn world .. if u use them right u will have now problems
ReplyDeleteApparently the way to go according to a company that makes menstrual sponges is to tie a bit of dental floss through it to use as a string (Seriously) I learned the make-up thing in a porn studio, this chick was like "Oh! I have a solution" pulled out round make-up sponges and remarked "my secret weapon"
ReplyDeleteI'm an escort, have used them many many times and no problems for me. The first time you stick one up there it is hard to get it out but after you do it a few times it's smooth sailing. Relax, breathe, push and pull. It will come out!
ReplyDeleteAlso an escort, and I have never had a problem with them.I am amazed that people working in the medical field are so easily offended by a well known alternative to tampons. You may want to educate yourselves on this topic, so women feel more comfortable seeing a doctor if a problem arises.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if I'd use the word offended- I don't care, it's not my vagina. But if you read it, the whole post was to educate myself as I was, at the time, like 23 with barely any nursing experience and zero escort experience, so sorry not sorry for not knowing about this trick.
DeleteIt's not produce or a sharp object, so it probably would even register on my radar these days.