Shit that has actually been said to me this week alone:
My baby has a virus, and you guys didn't even give him any antibiotics. I can't believe I waited 9 hours and brough him back twice in one day for you to tell me to give my baby Tylenol. I did that like, 6 hours before I brought him up here. His fever came back. That other doctor told me about that Pedialyte. Give me one of those to go.
That Norco you gave me didn't do anything! What is this? No. I want some more Norco. I am not taking a shot of Tramadol. Whatever. I know Tramadol and Toradol are the same thing. My Grandma was on that. What do you mean you're gonna give me a shot in the shoulder? I've never heard of that! The Tetanus shot goes in your shoulder? Uh, no. The Tetanus shot goes in here (pointing to forearm). That's the one that makes the bubble. TB test? Whatever. Same thing. No. I'm not gonna take that. No. I'm refusing it. Ugh. You guys aren't doing shit for my pain.
Yeah. Tell that doctor I'm gonna report her. For what? I've been sitting here and my blood pressure has been fluctuating and no one has been monitoring it.(Has been on cardiac monitor that entire time and has has BPs between 160/80 and 140/70). Whatever. That's bullshit. I don't think you guys think I know anything. That shit affects your kidneys. I know that. You don't treat blood pressure like that in the ER? That's bullshit. You guys haven't done shit for me. (Got a full chest pain workup and 4 hour repeat of cardiac labs). You guys just kept me here to keep me here. I don't even think you did a test on that blood. That shit is racist. I think you just kept that blood in case you need it. Whatever. Just take this IV out. I WILL BE REPORTING YOU.
I'm gonna quit nursing and create an accrediation based on browsing WebMD, half watching Discovery Health and word of mouth from your ex girlfriend who used to be a CNA for 6 months. That way, all these people can all get their licenses- I'm think a doctorate of douchebaggery with a concentration in medicine, and they can all treat each other in whatever way they seem to think is appropriate. Then they can all GTFO of my ER. Now please.