Me: Well, ma'am, I can guarantee you this is a pretty routine order for the prevention of blood clots in the hospital. You can look at the written order here if you like.
Patient: Naw. That don't go in a shot. I ain't takin' that. You nurses here are dangerous.
Me: Alright, well, I can't make you take it. I'm pretty sure skipping dialysis for three weeks didn't kill you, a DVT probably won't either. Also, I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to chew tobacco in here.
...and end scene.
My friend (an occupational therapist) and I were talking about this a few days ago - how long can a person go without dialysis? Does it vary? We're just curious.
ReplyDeleteHey, you did your best. Now let Darwin claim this one!
ReplyDelete(Preparing for overly sensitive reactions in 3,2,1...)
@ anon- Thats a pretty good question. I suppose it would vary per individual and their fluid and electrolyte intake while they're skipping- I know we have people that come in the day before their scheduled day fluid overloaded and not able to breathe because they don't comply with their fluid restriction, so I suppose they wouldn't make it very long. We have a couple of emergent dialyzers that don't have a center, and I know they usually meet the criteria to dialyze that way about every 4 days or so. So this lady was pretty impressive.
ReplyDelete@minimedic-judging by her age and lifestyle, I feel like if she was gonna die, it would have happened already. I have a sneaking suspicion this woman is gonna be one of those people who smokes crack her entire life and still outlives us all as part of some cruel joke to the universe.
"Tylenol can go in your mouth or up your butt. Heads can obviously be full of brains or shit... We always have options......"
ReplyDeleteI've heard of patients (ahem, customers) like that who can survive traumas & disease processes that would kill a "normal" human being, referred to as having a "cockroach gene." As in they'll be the ones who survive a nuclear attack along w/the cockroaches & Keith Richards.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I'm glad I don't work in an inner-city ER.
ReplyDeleteWhat she needed was some sux.....and everyone to walk away for a little bit........
ReplyDeletePeople like this walk freely among us - and then you read a story about a shaken infant or a car wreck that took out a school bus and you wonder who's in charge up there.
ReplyDeleteShould have just said here is your Loxenox, Enoxaparin... something fancy that a crackhead might not know. Unless of course ya'll there in the Hood only give the "good" stuff... I totally heard that when I was at clinical.
ReplyDelete"Why are you giving me some generic. What I can't have the good Heparin? It's cuz I'm ....insert minority of your choice here.
This is hilarious. We get those kinds as well, but instead of out of the hood, ours are rednecks who got their med degrees at the "Jeff Foxworthy School of Medicine." Nothing irks me more than when they are nauseated and "vomicking" (yes, you read that correctly- "vomiCKing") and won't take a phenergan suppository "because you're not putting THAT in THERE" or allow us to start an IV because their brother's step sisters uncle-cousin "had one blow up thier veins!" Why do these people even come in? Blows my mind every time.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Vomicking is also a common affliction at hood hospital. In fact, "vomicking a blood clog" is our favorite fake complaint we all threaten to check in with.
ReplyDelete