Thursday, December 22, 2011

Chief Complaint of the Night

Are you ready? Here we go.

Trouble sleeping for 5 years.

Yeop. And was seriously a douche to ER BFF in triage when she asked if she'd seen a doctor or tried any meds before. I guess maybe she was crabby from not sleeping, but still. It's not necessary to be nasty to the triage nurse for just doing her job and trying to collect your information. Anyway. 1,000 cool points were awarded to our new ER doctor, for this conversation:
New Dr: So, what's wrong today ma'am?
Miss Insomniac: I haven't been able to sleep well for 5 years.
New Dr: Yeeeah. So, this is the ER, so I don't prescribe sleeping pills here.
Miss Insomniac, scoffing and rolling eyes: Well, and I haven't had my period in two months either.
New Dr: Okay. Well, now you can go buy a pregnancy test, because you're discharged.

I tried to start a slow clap at the nurses' station, but no one was paying attention.


  1. As usual, I don't understand why someone comes to the ER for this. If she was paying the charge out of her own pocket, I bet you she would think twice.

    Let me guess her method of payment........

  2. I would want to ask "So what changed that made you decide to come to the ER tonight after 5 years?" I hope she had to wait a good 6 hours for that conversation with the Dr.

  3. Bonus points for new ER doc's awesomeness. Love it!

  4. This reminds me of one of my dad's favorite stories. He had a patient who c/o insomnia and I guess whatever my dad was doing for him wasn't helping. He called in the middle of the night and said, "SEE DOC! I CAN'T SLEEP! I am awake RIGHT NOW!" My dad was like, wtf, dude? Mad props to your ER doc (and to triage, too, for not smacking her in the face).

  5. I award you the points for attempting to start the group slow clap.

  6. Do these people not realize that a lot of CVS stores are open 24 hours too?

  7. I wonder if these people know anything of value including how to take decent care of themselves and their families.