Friday, December 16, 2011

Guess the Complaint

As written:
hirna bother hurt him ril bad

Answer tomorrow, pending day shift coming to take report on time. Winner will receive a lightly used pair of hospital socks and a half eaten bag of flamin' hot cheetos I found in the waiting room.

UPDATE: Well, I seem to have underestimated my readerships' talent for deciphering the writing of the borderline illiterate. There are too many of you that got the answer correct (yup, hernia pain) for me to declare a single winner, but you have all shown that you are qualified to work at the Hood Hospital triage desk, where 99% of your duties consist of explaining to registration what the hell these people are trying to check in for. Hit me up if you're looking for a job where you are verbally abused on a continual basis.
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18 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 16, 2011 at 4:36 AM

    How? HOW do you not just freak the f out some days? I teach illiterate, spoiled rich kids how to steal papers off the Internet (or "composition," if you will) and I've all but lost my faith in humanity, and I don't deal with .000001% of the nonsense you do - you are a rare person in deed. Please to continue with the on-rocking!

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  2. rnraquelDecember 16, 2011 at 4:52 AM

    Hernia bothers him?
    Her and her brother hurt him real bad?
    Tough one!

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  3. Neuroscience PhDDecember 16, 2011 at 6:53 AM

    I'm going with hernia that hurts him real bad. That's more entertaining than the undergrad exams I get to mark.

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  4. AnonymousDecember 16, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    Another brother hurt him real bad.

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  5. GuitarGirlRNDecember 16, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    Ahem: the patient's hernia is causing him some severe discomfort. Please administer pain medications and CT scan stat.

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  6. A.M.December 16, 2011 at 9:35 AM

    At my Hood ER we have an entire binder labeled "Epic Sign-Ins" in which we cut off the patient information, leaving only what they wrote as their "Reason for Visit". Literally every one looks like this. Real examples: himroyz (hemorrhoids?), pussy problems (HA!), paine in my nabal core (WTF?)...I could go on and on for days. Binder has like 25 pages!

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  7. AnonymousDecember 16, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    I was also going to guess that his hernia is hurting him.

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  8. AnonymousDecember 16, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    Duh, his hernia is hurting him - real bad. :)

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  9. AnonymousDecember 16, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    His brother hurt him really bad.

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  10. AnonymousDecember 16, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    Pussy problems. I can not stop laughing.

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  11. UnknownDecember 17, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    Lovely... we've a wall of f(sh)ame in the ER, where the most entertaining/illiterate/stupid-ass/non-emergent chief complaints are tacked, in the patients' own vocabulary, spelling and grammar. Lovely read, indeed, to make one realize that today's census was not really all THAT bad.

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  12. icurnDecember 17, 2011 at 12:04 PM

    My personal fav, the patient who checked in due to her "lag pain from very close vains " gotta love the hood!!!

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  13. Nurse KDecember 19, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    *Borderline* illiterate? You give the hoodrats too much credit.

    Favorite hoodrat medical word: Direa.

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  14. InvertedSquareDecember 19, 2011 at 11:59 PM

    I doubt it's "hernia". Knowing what a hernia is would imply some sort of higher level of intelligence (like a chimp or a dolphin). This is at the level of a dog or cat.....

    Probably her and his brother hurt him real bad. Some sort of fight or whatever bruising.

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  15. A.M.December 20, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    From a few weeks ago...
    vagina very chaptd
    useing Monistat 7 but not working
    to find out if I'm having a baby
    don't feel the same, could be prego

    I believe these could all be filed under "pussy problems"

    God bless America.

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  16. AnonymousDecember 20, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    http://docsontheweb.blogspot.com/ DEc, 15th . what a post ... right up your alley for answers to the drug jerks who drop in

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  17. hoodnurseDecember 21, 2011 at 1:16 AM

    I actually posted this on my personal facebook a couple of months ago when I was randomly looking through the best of craigslist! Pretty much spot on.

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  18. AnonymousDecember 22, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    The scary thing is that I understood it the first second I read it. LOL

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