If I ever get crazy enough to go back and get my masters, I think I may do some kind of study on the kinds of patients the ER sees in the summer time versus the winter.
We're hardly seeing any respiratory distress right now compared to the winter time- in February, we actually ran out of ventilators. Someone had to hop in their car to drive to our sister hospital and pick one up. The ICU was full non stop- no doubt the result of winter illnesses gone horribly wrong.
Summer is a whole other set of fuckery. I would say slightly less challenging and slightly more entertaining, although sometimes I'm just done with this shit. I mean, really. What is it about high temperatures that make people stab one another ALL THE TIME. And if you have to stab one another, okay, but please don't come to the hospital to see your boyfriend when you were the one who put him here in the first place by stabbing him, and then try to talk crazy to the ER staff when they ask you to leave because you were the stabber, then try to sneak back in after you are asked to leave only to get more crazy with the ER physician, who then has no other choice than to put you in a headlock because you can't act right.
Also- I like to drink and I know plenty of people who enjoy drugs. Please enjoy these activities safely in your own house and refrain from coming to the hospital like a normal person so I don't have to try and start an IV on your stupid ass. I have more important things to do, like taking care of all of these stabbing victims.
Another note about alcohol- drinking is fine, but if you're going to do so, please refrain from doing it on or around your roof. Just stay away from the roof altogether. Roofs and booze are mortal enemies and you should keep them apart at all times. If you really need to go on the roof, when you inevitably fall off, this is a time when it is appropriate to call an ambulance. Because when you come to the hospital in the back of your friend's SUV, and we have to go get a stretcher and climb in the car and try to cram one of the backboards EMS left here under you while we hold C spine and you scream at us, that's a whole thing and it would be a lot easier if you let the medics do that in the first place when you're on the ground and not in the back of a car.
At least I'll get away from it all today. Yes, dear blog readers, I am finally taking a vacation. I am going to rent a house with friends, drink for a week and float down a river. I think I'll manage to stay off the roof, refrain from stabbing anyone, and stay out of the hospital. If not, I may be gone for a little over a week.