Monday, April 29, 2013

ER BFF sent me this the other day:

And all I have to say is YUP. Working at a trauma center has really opened my eyes to the depths of stupidity to which the human race is capable of going.  I really thought I had seen it all working at Hood Hospital, what with some of the insane complaints people used to check in with, but obviously I wasn't anticipating taking care of those same people on Friday night, after they'd been at the club and had a beer or six and ended up in some kind of unfortunate situation requiring trauma services. 
I still don't agree with it, but it almost makes me understand the attitudes people up here have a little bit better.  There's about an equal amount of stupidity, but since alcohol seems to be involved more often here, it's kind of like a more aggressive variety of stupidity with less of the redeeming human element. Although the worst cases aren't the ones with people operating automobiles/motorcycles/bikes/motorized wheelchairs/whatever under the influence of some unadvisable substance, which could be somewhat attributed to impaired judgement related to said substances.  Nope, I'm talking pure, organic, unaltered poor decision making skills and what we in the medical community refer to as being really, really dumb. 
For example, I took care of a guy a couple weeks ago who wrecked his car into a stationary object, and like so many others before him, came to the ER back boarded, c-collared and acting a complete fool.  Just by the nature of the accident, we all assumed he was on something to be acting this way and to, you know, have a collision with something incapable of swerving into his lane, but the tox screen was negative for everything.  We were all confused and thinking about calling in Dr. House or whatever until I heard him talking on the phone while I was walking by the room.  
"Huh?  Haha, yeah bro, you know what happened?  So like, I was tweeting, right, and then like BOOM! I like, ran into this pole, yo!  HAHAHA I know, right! Yeah, it's fuckin' crazy man!  So like, hey, do you think you can pick me up from the hospital?  HAHA yeah dude, and like, my nurse, she's pretty hot, I think I'm gonna try and get her number bro.  Ha. Yeah man, Twitter. It's like, so crazy."
Ugh.  
The scary part is, I'm sure he operates a condom probably about as well as he operates an automobile, so I'm sure he's out there.  In the gene pool.  Tell your descendants I'm sorry when the world become the movie Idiocracy but in real life. 

12 comments:

  1. The correct Dx is Low Grey Matter Titer.

    It's usually only curable by cremation.

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    1. I'm stealing this diagnosis in real life. Trust.

      Delete
    2. Hey, for you, I'll make it public domain.

      But I need to make it a Diagnosis Of The Week.
      The hardest part is coming up with only one or two exemplars, instead of 2000.

      Delete
  2. I'd laugh at the Idiocracy part...but it's not really funny now, is it?

    Also, did he go through with the asking-out?! I can only imagine what pickup line he would have used.

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    Replies
    1. Thank God, he never worked up the nerve. He did face time me to his friend though, as I put dressings on the 16 gauge IVs he d/c'd himself, because intelligence.

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  3. I'm thinking the pickup line attempted would have involved tweeting somehow. . .

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  4. I just spent way too much time reading through your blog and I just wanted you to know it is awesome. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of what ER nursing can be like at times. And for giving me a whole lot of laughs.

    TinyPeopleNurse
    http://tacklingthetinies.blogspot.com/

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  5. Oh yes, people like this are out there in the gene pool. I see them every day at work and it scares the crap out of me that the can reproduce and that we have to let them take those poor innocent babies home.

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  6. Contrary to the theory of natural selection, stupid people breed quite well. Then their children come to me, and I have to hope like hell I can find some neural tissue in the family.

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  7. What a complete fucking idiot...he could have killed an innocent person!!

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  8. This is so true and sad that people are doing so many reckless things while driving. I can only imagine how you felt when you heard it. Love your blog!
    Erin

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