Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Price of Being New

So, I guess I've established myself at the new place.  Like, I done rode up in there on my magical ER nursing stallion and did all the hard IV starts on my first attempt and took care of 30 ICU patients by myself, and was all, yeah, fear and respect my skillz everyone.  LOL.  J/K guys.  But IRL, everybody knew I came from Hood Hospital, I figured out the charting quick and stuff, so I got like, a day and a half of orientation before they were like, okay, you're done, go take care of patients on your own now.  Except I am still learning some stuff here but I haven't gotten called to the office over anything yet so whatever.
BUT.  I'm in a very awkward and shit position at the moment.  Because all these people are now aware that I can handle a crazy patient load without killing anyone, that I'll usually work my ass off without complaining, and that I'll pick up the slack if my pod partner is lagging.  BUT.  I'm also not BFFZ with anyone here yet, because I am totally freaking weird and socially inept and it takes me forever to make friends. Like, not like, adorably quirky manic pixie dream girl weird, but like, makes a bunch of  obscure mid 90's SNL references that no one gets and says stuff way louder than I probably should most of the time weird.  
So, anyway, the significance of all this is that I am close with no one, therefore, nobody has my back and I am getting the shaft all day every day when I come to work at this place.  It's like, oh, well, Hood Nurse is competent, let's give her the shittiest assignment with the laziest person here! Okay, awesome. And few of the charge nurse or float nurses are stepping in to help, because if their buds need anything at all, it's getting taken care of prior to anything I need. 
Luckily, the medics here mostly already like me because I don't delegate and then sit on my ass and I can show most of them up when it comes to IV starts, so if they see that I'm really drowning, they have my back. And most of the doctors like me already because I work hard and make them laugh. Still.  It's just frustrating.  I can handle my shit, but it sucks to be drowning and see everyone congregating and grab assing by the charge desk having fun. 
I don't know.  I feel like (and I hope my perception was the actual reality) that I was pretty fair as charge at Hood Hospital.  I mean, I would honor a friend's request for a certain area if they were having a crappy day but overall I would try to move people around and be pretty objective about who ended up with what.  Don't get me wrong, some of the charge nurses here a pretty rad and objective, but overall I kind of feel like I'm a little isolated and that if someone is gonna have to get crapped on, it's gonna be me.  Oh well.  Such is being new I guess.


  1. Totally know the feeling. Hang in there, it will get better.

  2. I feel your pain. But you're a bamf, so hopefully it's just a matter of time before you're at home there.

  3. heng in there nursy:) and speak up! you´ve got the guts! you can do it! hugs from fellow nurse in norway

  4. Know how that feels, it'll get better!

  5. I believe I felt that way every single place I was new, except the hospital I trainted at. was as you described and that's 12 different facilities.

    In the end, I figured it's a good thing not to be with the crowd at work... it gradually got better as far as not putting up with that kind of inequal workload shit but after that....most of my friends were outside of hospital circles - which is much better in the long run.

    Good luck to ya.

  6. Hang in there, the respect and camaraderie will come, it just takes a little longer for us introverts. (Also, to echo so many of your other commenters lately: luuuuuuurve you and the blog, like 4 eva eva. And not just because of your excellent use of "grab assing".)

  7. Yea I am also that awkward loud not pixie cute girl! And the more nervous I get in social situations, the more I talk. I am a new reader but I read all the archives, and you are a cool tough cookie! So it will be allright!

  8. Sort of sounds a bit like being a traveler. Hope it gets better soon.

  9. That's a bunch of bull. New, or not, I would be figuring out a way to convey to the flock your concerns. Whether through your sarcasm, or blatant confrontation.
    Sooner or later being left out to dry equals burn out.
    Hang in there hoody.