Sunday, August 12, 2012

Chief Complaint of the Century

It's always a special night when a patient like this is the first one you triage.

Hi, first patient I've seen today at Hood Hospital, what's up?
Oh, you know, low back pain.
For how long?
Some time.
Well, how long is some time for you, ma'am?
Well... let's see.  It's been on an off.  It always kind of hurts. I think it first started in 1993, though.

It's never a good start when your reason for visit is older than some of our volunteers, but it gets even better.

Yeah. Alright then.  Any allergies?
Yes! I'm allergic to ALL medicines. All of them. Prescription and over the counter.  All medicine.

Wow. That's too bad, seeing as how that also means we can basically do nothing to help you here. But if you'll excuse me, I need to take my daily dose of face palm now.


  1. Daily dose of Face Palm....LOL
    Gonna steal that little gem!

  2. Wow. Even allergic to the D-medicines? That must have been a refreshing change, at least. :)

  3. Waaaayyyy back in the dark ages when I first graduated from nursing school (1985), the first hospital I worked at actually did pelvic traction for back pain!

    1. Damn! We just need to get a time machine and send homegirl that way!

  4. Not the D medication? I bet that works just fine.

  5. I bet this patient wanted a prescription for medical marijuana because we all know that's an herb, not medication!

  6. So, what did you do for her, have a laying on of hands?

  7. I can offer a recommendation for needling. Don't know about "dry needling" which would be ideal for the lady (just a needle, no substances) but I HAVE had needling which uses saline to stimulate the fascia. It's quite commonly used here in central Europe by anaesthesiologists and really does have a pretty good result in chronic back pain.

    Though no doubt she will be allergic to the salt or the water ;-)

    And the pain of the treatment is - albeit briefly - actually more painful than the problem. I'm heard squealing from outside the room. Dead embarrassing :-( Worth it though :-)

  8. Shockingly claimed she was even allergic to the D-medicine. She opted for an x-ray, I guess the primary nurse didn't have the heart to tell her that radiation was used to treat cancer patients.