After all the protesting, list of things I would rather do (eat broken glass, get new boobs and find a job at hooters, be up at triage every day for the rest of my career) I have agreed to be charge nurse at this place like an idiot. So. That's happening.
I'm ambivalent. On one hand, I've exhausted all my options as a regular staff nurse as far as doing new things, unless I want to go somewhere else, which I'm also considering, oddly enough. I know make me stronger, and maybe more confident, and it'll look good on resumes and stuff if I do decide to leave. I'm sure it will help me with decision making skills and with being assertive, which I absolutely need to improve on.
On the other, I am scared shitless. I feel like I am way too dumb to be doing this already, and that I know absolutely nothing, but sad as it is, being a nurse in this ER for three years and a couple of months is what some people call "experienced". The thing I'm most concerned about it is not having the emotional fortitude required to do this job. People can be serious dicks to the charge nurses. Like they think that being bitchy and bratty and whining about who has what (obviously you aren't too busy to take an inventory of everyone else's patients) is going to make the ER less full and make them less slammed. I don't know. I just don't really complain to other people and I don't have a ton of patience with people who do. I honestly worry that I will end up getting stabbed in the back by someone I'm cool with or more likely, that I will have to listen to someone bitch about trivial bullshit on what is already a crappy day and that I will completely lose it on them.
Either way, it's happening and I guess I'm on my way to being a grown up nurse. Any tips from the adults out there? Can I have a couple more years at the kid's table, please?