Hood Nurse: Sure, let's get you fixed up. What's going on today?
Patient: I think I have cervical cancer. I'm having all the symptoms.
Hood Nurse: Okay. Like what kind of symptoms?
Patient: Cervical cancer symptoms! Are you guys gonna check me for cancer or what?
Hood Nurse: Okay. Well, I can't put cervical cancer check in here for your reason for visit so I just need you to tell me what the problem was that made you come in today.
Patient: Well, I mean, like it hurts when I have sex and I got this discharge and I looked it up on the internet and it told me that was the symptoms of cervical cancer.
Hood Nurse: What color discharge? Is there an odor to it?
Patient: Yeah. It's yellow.
Hood Nurse: Have you been having unprotected sex?
Patient: Uh, yeah.
Hood Nurse: Listen. I don't want you to worry about this cancer thing right now, because your symptoms sound more like an STD to me at the moment. We'll check you here to be sure, and we'll give you a referral for a place that can do a pap smear to check for cancer, but I don't want you to get to anxious about this. Web MD says about 99 percent of everything is cancer, so yeah. Web MD is not your friend.