Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thank You, FDA

Just saw on the news today that the FDA is banning Four Loko. I would just like to say to them on behalf of all emergency medical personnel, police, anyone who has ever driven after 11PM, and people with annoying-ass friends who can't handle their booze, thank you. Thank you for saving me countless hours of chasing some idiot asshole around the ER because he is drunk and strung out on caffeine and thinks he needs to fight everyone. I mean, really, a tall boy sized can with the alcohol content of wine and more caffeine than a Red Bull in fruity flavors sold for 2.50? Whose idea was this, the creator of bum fights? I'd like a personal apology from this person issued to all night staff at hood hospital, stat double stat. Thanks.


  1. I am thinking that all those people with the problems that you saw come through as a result of this beverage....are more than likely the same ones that come through drunk on any other beverage.
    When will people out there start blaming the *actual* problem - which is lack of self control of the person....not the inanimate object? :)

    One of my very favorite beverages is a nice strong cuppa Irish coffee with some extra cafe liquor thrown in....and I certainly don't end up in ER... or in any random fights..... :)

  2. They're also pulling Darvon & Darvocet off the market. If only they'd pull Dilaudid too!!

  3. Hey at least when you get drunk off normal alcoholic beverages you don't have the CAFFEINE to keep you awake longer. Most drunks I know just fall asleep after a while.

  4. Stupid drunks will always be stupid drunks. At least without this foolishness, they won't be as many alert, combative stupid drunks. Since I work in the ghetto, pretty much every drunk person cutting up or having an anxiety attack has been drinking these all night. I kind of agree about personal responsibility, but on the other hand, man am I glad these fools will just go to sleep when they're forced to switch back to Mad Dog 20/20.