I posted on twitter earlier this morning about a phenomenon that, due to my lack of self-awareness, probably happens to me way more frequently than it should. Sometimes, I start telling what I think is a funny work story, and about ohhh.. halfway through, I'll look at the face of the person I'm telling it to and notice that they look shocked and horrified rather than amused. When people hear I'm an ER nurse, they always want to hear my craziest/ funniest/ weirdest ER story, but I've found after four years here and I don't really notice weird that much anymore, and I have trouble differentiating crazy/funny from terrible/disgusting.
What's worse than realizing this is happening is realizing it's happening and then trying to explain why, YES, you don't understand, this totally is funny, for real. I had one of these moments with my husband this week while trying to tell him this story-
Lady comes in post-CPR, not doing so hot. Like, not if but when she's gonna go type of thing. We're trying our best to keep her alive while explaining stuff to her large family- while this is all happening, one of our medics is trying to keep the lady's three year old great-grandson occupied by letting him take his pick of stickers at the charge nurse desk. The inevitable finally happens an hour or so later and we give the family some time to talk to the chaplain and view the body. After they leave, we go in to take her down to the morgue and notice she is covered in Batman stickers. Everyone I work with, myself included, thought it was hilarious. I tried to recount it to my husband, and yeah, not so much.
"So she died? Man, that's really sad."
"Yeah, but, I mean, they were all expecting it, and they were actually dealing with it really well."
"But, I mean, so the little kid saw her and stuff? That's pretty messed up."
"Yeah, but he put Batman stickers on her! It was weirdly kind of sweet and I don't know it was just really funny at the time okay?"
"Yeah, I guess kind of, but it's mostly just really messed up."
Fair enough. I guess such is the nature of the ER. I guess from the outside, it seems like we're laughing at the death of someone's granny and it seems really terrible. I wish I could adequately describe what it feels like, after several years, losing count of how many dead people you've seen, how much blood and pulmonary edema you've wiped away to make someone sort of look like the person their family once knew, trying so hard to get their eyes to close, the familiar plastic smell of the body bag, looking down in the midst of it all to see a crude collage of superhero stickers. It's really not funny. But at that moment, it's the funniest shit in the world.
I don't work in medicine, but that story came across as funny and sweet to me. I mean, if you'd said it was the little guy's 25 year old mom who'd been hit by a drunk driver...yeah, that might make the humor harder to take.
ReplyDeleteIn any profession, things that are out of place and unexpected are funny. (I could tell some tales about things I've seen in people's cars while working in the drive-up at a bank.) But whenever death's involved people start getting all worried about being appropriate. I mean...that grandma probably would've laughed, too, don't you think?
We laugh so we don't scream.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, the Batman stickers are some pretty funny stuff.
Ten years from now, grandma will still be dead, and the Batman stickers will still draw a smile.
Our species is funny like that.
Ha ha, love it.
ReplyDeleteSounds a bit like our lunchtime conversations. The only problem is that we share our lunchroom with non-nurses. Sometimes they get up and leave...
LOL!!! As an ER nurse myself I thought of telling my husband this story and I am pretty sure I would've had the same reaction from him.
ReplyDeleteIt's the only job in the world where you can come to work, hear that the patient in bed 10 died, and go "oh, Good. Finally."
ReplyDeleteIf we didn't laugh at shit, we'd go insane.
People (as in non-healthcare types) no longer seem to understand that death isn't the worst thing and that staff AND family AND the patient can still experience joy and laughter at the end of life.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! And, while it might seem morbid I'm fairly certain that the story will be handed down to future generations "little bobby covered grandma with Batman stickers" for years and years to come. And,it'll make them smile. Funny and sweet at the same time!
ReplyDeleteWell, I think it is appropriate that you separate your feeling on what is happening in the ER. Besides, if someone dies or anything, the world will not stop there and you will have to face another terrible situation. Imagine if you took them all deeply. That is a nice story.
ReplyDeleteIt's not funny, but yet it's hilarious. Such is the life of the ER.
ReplyDeleteNow I will think of 'dead granny' when I see batman stickers and that's way cool. Death is not the worst thing ever. Come on people. Thanks for a great story.
ReplyDeleteexperience taking you a long way
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a funny story and would have reacted the same way. Luckily, my hubby is a FF/paramedic, so I have someone at home to share our type of sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud, actually. This is why we blog. Most of what we do is just not appropriate for the dinner table.
ReplyDeleteI like what Aesop had to say. And I can totally see the humor in that.
ReplyDeletehahaha when telling my ER stories to my non-ER friends, I ALWAYS begin with, "This story is probably not funny, but...."
ReplyDeletei thought it was very sweet. I just told my boyfriend though and he didn't get it. Guess that's why you have nurse friends. hah!
ReplyDeleteNurses have a slightly twisted sense of humor some times, but it's part of how we deal. And we see things daily that the rest of world may only see once in a lifetime or on TV. It's a nursing thing :)
ReplyDeleteWhen my late grandfather sustained a fall that paralylzed him, my brother and I flew back home, and my mother drove us to the hospital in his old truck At one point, my 5'8"-200+ pound brother ended up crammed in the backseat of a Toyota Tundra. When my mother asked if he could feel his legs, he responded, "I'm numb, but not as numb as Grandpa..."
ReplyDelete*pause* *laughter*
"Whaaat, too soon?"
Aesop was right: We laugh because we don't want to scream.