Wow. I won't even get into the beginning of this, but just so it's out there- if you have friends and family that can drive up and see you at the hospital to make dumbshit demands, do you really need to take an ambulance to the ER because you're vomiting while pregnant?
But damn. Dude. And if I give you an emesis basin, is there really any reason that you also need to take the trashcan from your room and puke there, too? People have to clean that shit up, yo. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure this girl was actually nauseated- she was pregnant and had bronchitis, and all of that muck was probably dripping down in her stomach and making her feel awful. But she clearly wanted to make us think it was uncontrollable, stomach virus variety puking, which it certainly was not. If she couldn't get vomit up while I was in the room, she would start hocking up a loogie and coughing until she cold get something in the basin and/or trash. Occasionally she would bring up some bloody snot, and told me and anyone who would listen, "E..hem.. I think... I'm throwing up... blood." Um, no. You're not.
Her dad came in about 10 minutes after the ambulance and hung out asking questions about what I was going to do for his daughter while she flailed around vomiting. I explained to both of them that I was going to start an IV for fluids and anti-nausea medicine and that we would let it kick in for a while and see how she was doing. I started the IV with minimal hysterics, other than the fact that she was a hard stick, but with all the flailing she had already pulled up the tegaderm before I could even leave the room to get her fluids. I wiped the area around it down with alcohol and dried it, stuck it down again with a bigger tegaderm and some tape. Not 30 minutes after running the fluids, the dad came out and told me "Uh, yeah, her IV is out." Sweet. I told him I had a few more things to do for a few more patients and I'd be in soon. 5 minutes later, I'm getting together discharge paperwork for another patient, and he comes to the desk again- "Yes, are you going to restart my daughter's IV?"
Damn it, dude, I have other patients. I finally go back in there and as I'm about to stick this idot again, the PA comes in and tells me to forget it, that she'll just get her second dose of Zofran IM.
I had to draw it up in two syringes, so I cleaned both legs, warned her, and stuck the first shot in- and as I'm pushing it in, her dumb ass grabs my hand. Oh fucks no. It took all of my power not to swear at her. I think it came out as "honey, you don't want to do that." Naturally, her dad sat there and stared at me this entire time, saying NOTHING. I go to the other side to give her the second shot, and as I'm uncapping the needle, she tells me, "Just- don't warn me this time." Really? You just nearly stabbed me with a dirty needle, and you don't want me to warn you? I'm just curious what this girl plans on doing when it comes time for her to birth that baby. It's going to hurt way more than that IM injection.
